When leaving high school possibilities are at there fullest, people have the option to go college or university, enter the military, or get a trade like becoming an electrician or carpenter, it’s a routine time to most & is the norm for most people but the common denominator to all is the choices of the graduates, once they cross the stage receiving their high school diploma or associates if they were in collegiate high school for that time in their life they have to make the choices for themselves moving forward, not because of family or others around them but the best for them in the now & what is effective for them in the long run.
So for me I left La Marque High School & dual credit at College of The Mainland to pursue the journey of college in my journey, after thinking on places I wanted to go to like Morehouse in Atlanta, GA or Tennessee State University in Memphis, Tennessee & finally applying Texas Southern University in Houston, Texas & Prairie View A&M University in Prairie View, Texas I made the decision to go to the latter in PVAMU on “The Hill” after much consideration on my part as well as choices that were the best for me, over that time from arriving there as a freshman I was a Panther for numerous year, left because I was going through several things that were deterring me from pursuing my degree effectively in spring of 2015, which in hindsight was the best thing happening forcing me to regroup instead of just floundering pursuing something, I was a instructional aide for La Marque ISD with the Pre-K little people for the 2015-2016 school year (while it was open, LMISD closed July 1st of 2016), I worked 7 days a week at Popeye’s, as a para at LMISD, & after-school in LMISD from August of 2015 to February of 2016, became a substitute in Texas City Independent School District along with doing the after school program from July 2016 to January 2017 as result of the closure, I was an Eagle at University of Houston Clear Lake from January of 2016 to December 2016 because I was a student there while I was away from “The Hill”, then after making a decision I went back to PVAMU in the spring of 2017 to finish what I started with my degree, with it finally reaching a head spring of 2018, where I “crossed the stage” at PVAMU & that chapter should have ended then and closed then but didn’t.
The turning point for this moment in my life was the end of May of 2018, going to a funeral for my big cousin in KC instead of being their 3 days, I ended up their 70 days because of sepsis going from ICU to Telemetry to Rehab hospital then finally back home in August after living in uncertainty about my life & having to rebuild physically after being hospitalized as a result of sepsis,
then adding to it all weeks after graduation I got a letter stating I had to go back to school to finish my degree which A) I thought was done after making a decision to come back to PVAMU in 2017 & B) became way harder to do because at the moment I was on a walker because of sepsis and drop foot, once I got back home& I had to continue recovering & couldn’t just be on campus like a normal student for another semester. What I can equate this to in Dave Chappelle accepting the Mark Twain Award for Comedy & speaking on his conversations with his mother about Grios in Africa, they held all these stories and knowledge that when they died it was like a library was burned down which was relatable to me because of 2018, I may have had all this knowledge & info to pass off but if I were not to make it, that resource would be gone with me unless it was passed on somehow, no matter what this was in the back of my mind along with the stigma associated with what a super senior is to most, it brings up movies like Van Wilder starring Ryan Reynolds or Tommy Boy with Chris Farley & lumps people together who took more than the four years to finish their degree compared to High School which is a whole different beast entirely from higher education (random fact graduation rate is predicated on degrees finished in 5 years & not completion over time at an institution) so it makes for easy target for people just using it as a way of just wanting to justify or compare journeys proving how they are doing better or worse when lined up with the next thing or person, cherry picking being selective which can be a whole lot easier when making assumptions, rather then the reverse of actually using context and perspectives we have on certain people & things to actually build our views over time which can be meticulous.
The limitations of this situation have made me ask the question over time like “What or who am I?” being weakened from hospitalization as a result of sepsis I couldn’t do things like run, play basketball, indoor soccer, or just be fit in the way I thought, I was just this frail being just staring at ceiling tiles getting up for rehab which was necessary to rebuild the metaphorical house of cards in order to have the freedom and some normalcy again like prior, the other reason I asked this was because of my status as a student at that point, without a degree was I less than because of it even though I was still intelligent & knowledgeable on a specific level? Over time I was without this big end goal for lot of people so these thoughts would run through my head every now & then even though the answer was more complicated & wasn’t true, it still went through my head regularly & even though it has it cons thinking that way which can deter people from lots thinking on these things, there are positives to this happening like it did like a power of restriction, if you looked at my high school career I was part of several things like National Honor Society, I was a Texas Scholar & distinguished grad , was part of Athletics playing several sports, & even had this high GPA once that chapter was over & I was on this on this path of progression in college that matched what was seen in High School but it was not this mirror image to the previous chapter whatsoever making me or others question the progress sometimes or the end result, but it wasn’t because my capabilities as an student or being athletic as a person were lacking, it came down to certain factors being different making for different outcomes & forced problemsolving & made me assess what I was facing in the moment & if people are really about improvement & getting better as individuals it takes looking within & reflecting sometimes to do so effectively no matter what we are faced with & with it happening like it did it took away certain things I had gotten used to in my life making me be more dynamic whether I liked it or not, a forced me to not just lean on things because they bring certainty & stability from certain resources and my own personal skill set, but with it happening it made me realize an important ideal every individual should have, even if things are missing for a specific moment we have to figure out who we are without certain things or factors whether supplied by us or others & things around us and be comfortable enough to move forward even though we are limited or restricted from who we can be potentially in our own minds or others & we never know what can possibly come of it if we actually don’t try altering the process or skipping it altogether.
No matter what being a super senior is like anything else in life it takes a certain level of restraint & discipline not to work off of hypotheticals & form them when we see actions in plain view, because we can prepare lots for every situation & scenario that may come up as possible outcomes but no matter what life is filled with uncertainty, people are random most times, & as individuals we are always subject to good & bad breaks that can turn the tide of everything in way we least expect, because just like when I was hospitalized with sepsis or even with the situation I was in with school over the last two years things got tested in a way that may have been rare but it tested everything that was put in place for unusual scenarios & hopefully things & people are prepared enough to face the challenge, just like when I was hospitalized, I went through the ringer with the usual blood work & tox screens, but I was also on things like 24 Hour Dialysis which had been used on two people at the point I was there, me & another person or in the beginning I was on a ice bed to get my temperature down which is used rarely, same with university something’s were uncharted territory to a certain point but tested preparation all around.
No matter what my education journey may have been long to this point and people may have their own opinion about the situation without proper understanding or evidence but I can’t control that or people’s opinions on the matter & hopefully people around me give me a fair shake after having the entire picture of why, but what I can control is my own motivation to what happened in May of 2018 and in general & also have patience and the fortitude to get over the hump, just like it took looking at the silver lining often rather than the negative things that have become more prevalent over the last two years & even though my value to some may have changed selectively over time & have been objective to others where they look at each factor while building their views my own experiences & choices drive the journey.
Finally through all the setbacks, moments over the last two years from being a caregiver, to working as a driver for Lyft once I was recovered some, to rehab like physical therapy, occupational therapy, & speech therapy so I could get to a better place or going back to PVAMU online this semester even though I thought it was completed before, I can officially say I finished my degree & got over the hump closing out this chapter in my life 747 days later (2 years, 17 days to be exact) which feels better since this chapter has finally ended & I also can celebrate being 2 years removed from the hospital because of sepsis (heck I celebrated my birthday at the end of May two years ago sedated because of tubes & wires in a hospital bed in ICU in Overland Park, so i’ll take Now for $400 Alex) so over this moment of my life it could have gone lots of ways after the adversity happened & I could have gone on this revenge tour fueled by seeking retaliation for everything & been like Steve Buschemi in the movie “Billy Madison” constantly trying to check off this metaphorical list of everything
& one that has done me wrong but like trying to rid thirst with salt water the retribution would be never ending with that kind of mindset, plus the energy was used to adapt or improve myself rather than putting it towards adversity that is prevalent as a result. I’ve learned several things as a result of this entire moment & things were even reinforced as a result of everything that went down, first off all a degree does is prove you are able to learn formally & finish something to completion and it doesn’t make us better than others without a degree because if we have that mentality that it makes us better, then we’ll get humbled because of it because their are people that are highly intelligent without degrees out here who either didn’t get the chance themselves or messed over their own opportunities, it’s not a barometer to aptitude far as intelligence, people always say I “deserve” or it entitles them to way more which is fair to think because that is why a person pursues a journey in higher learning to better themselves and their life to a certain point , but it’s more than just a status proving or that proves we are qualified for certain technical things, it’s necessary things like engineering or education but ourjourney shouldn’t be dictated because we are chasing a memory or accolades that can be fleeting.
Second, the experiences we have in our own journeys aren’t always going to be the same as the next person, we can relate to certain things but we are not uniform copies of one another, we all come with things that make us who we are, there are positive things like being accepted into a university or fulfilling a life long goal, other times there is disappointments & setbacks that can leave us feeling like John Marston at the end of the video game “Red Dead Redemption” when we did everything right but still ended up
like metaphorical Swiss cheese but life is filled with good & bad breaks. If Someone said I could go back & redo everything in my own journey remaking decisions I’ve made over time, I would have to decline because the choices I’ve made in my lifetime along with the experiences that have happened to me helped make the person you see no matter what your perspective is of me (whether warranted or unwarranted) or even if we disagree which is part of life because individuals don’t agree on everything whether it’s family, friends, collaborations, etc. the picture is way bigger than me even though my journey plays a factor, because the biggest thing about life is not what we do but living by the “golden rule” treating others the way we want to be treated & also because of our own mortality & journey ending someday it becomes about “paying it forward” to whoever is trying to listen or better themselves through progression or actually learning from others, my journey may have not be favorable to most but hopefully it makes an impact on someone & is a catalyst to change around me or in others because that is the thing about choices they aren’t reversible in most cases the shot has been fired, you can’t unring the bell but what we can do is follow through on things so we have no regrets regardless of how things pan out far as circumstances & because I made certain choices I’ve met certain people, done certain things, & experienced several things I wouldn’t have done if I didn’t.
What this whole experience comes down to regardless of the time it took or the experiences that have helped shape me & made who I am just like my journey isn’t the only one that people can learn from there are so many out here, it has been about several things but on a foundational level it has become about making the best of the situation & to keep fighting regardless of the adversity that is thrown at us because with their is uncertainty in life no matter what we do in our journey, prime example of this is being awarded my degree which was earned not given like most other students & is the end goal for most but I also had a tracheostomy while I was recovering from sepsis which effected my voice which I work on improving everyday but as a interdisciplinary graduate (basically the path of a certified teacher) I know it’s gonna be more difficult for me as an educator & may never touch a classroom, but just like the time before this I still have hope, faith, determination, & action to back it up along with examples that came before me that helped me like a corner man helping a fighter between rounds & hopefully I can do the same for others, everything we do is a culmination of everything we have done or experienced to certain point & we can turn it in a positive direction whether it is school or life & hopefully individuals accept the whole journey & aren’t selective to a certain point, just like Bob Ross used to say “there no mistakes only happy accidents” & without things happening a certain way the journey wouldn’t be as fulfilling, certain things happen for a reason & it’s about doing the best we possibly can in all facets of life.
