On May 30th I turn 28 which is truly a feat after going through this last year & only reinforces the fact that this life is truly fragile in nature. Over this last year of being 27 (ain’t no shame here it’s just a number) I’ve learned plenty of things as I recover and still recovering but five things stick out to me a lot over this period.
“Act your age.”
It was a phrase I heard from a particular person I’m not gonna say there name but they said it every time they deemed something I was doing childish. In essence this is a true cop out because being an adult is a tough thing because you have to pay bills and expenses for plenty of things, be a young adult who handles their business, & on top of that be a upstanding citizen of this world even though it can be cruel sometimes. That phrase can be saved for someone else because there’s people that are way older but still at like little kids in a grown body. If I’m handling my business there’s no need for it, I refuse to be a stick in the mud taking myself to seriously when I’m a goofball at heart.
Some people don’t deserve your words or time
Because I was coughing so much (when I was hospitalized with sepsis I had a tracheotomy to help with breathing) & I pulled it leaving me mute for numerous days & while my vocal chords recover I have seven seconds of air compared to fourteen seconds a normal person has before they have to breath after saying something. I say this for the reason of I’ve run into plenty of people who had their mind made up before I even talked to them. So why waste my time if you’re just trying to hear yourself talk & didn’t want to hear my opinion? Which is why I’ve adopted the mindset of if you’re gonna waste my time I’m not gonna pursue you for as texting or talking wasting my breath or time, because if you’re just gonna leave a person on the line because you’re selfishness is messed up. I’ll take my words & time somewhere else.
Love & care for the people around you.
If you can imagine it, even though you play a small role on this earth you have plenty of people that care & love you. When I was hospitalized in Kansas City, Overland Park if you want to be technical I had people come to bat for me & my family not expecting anything in return like my aunt who was up there moonwalking while I was sedated (wish I could have seen that), or Westward St. Church of Christ chipping in to help my family monetarily because we we’re supposed to be there 3 days not 70, meeting Stephanie Woodhouse on the way back home in August at the Airport and she shared her blanket on the plane, the countless number of medical staff that allowed me to keep living after doing great jobs or even Keionna Turner who was messaging my mom while I was sedated until I was able to message her. I say this because there are people that truly care for you that is more than just your immediate family who you don’t really get to choose. There are are countless people that I can’t truly pay back that have been in my corner & sometimes me doing for people can be over the top but whether I they live far away or in close proximity they at least they deserve a message or more every now and then because they should feel the love and care you truly have for them.
Over the last year & well before me people have died well before they were supposed to like Mayra fro Family Matters or Aaliyah, Selena, Nipsey Hussle, or Robin Williams as examples. Whether by natural causes or the hand of someone else the bell has been rung & there’s no redo. I could of been a person that was like “why me?” when it came to the reason of why did I survive sepsis which has a mortality rate of 40% while others passed away. Even though it’s in the back of my head I can’t have that mindset moving forward because people will die way before we think they should & we can’t be selfish with their life.
Being stuck in a bed for 70 days gives you time to think which can be a blessing and a curse. One thing I promised myself was that I would use my time effectively and be productive, while I’ve been able to do that even though I have to rest sometimes because I don’t have the extra energy right now I been able to do a lot with my time. I’ve done countless things from photography to design work to even writing things over this time. Some people say I’m doing too much but it begs the question what are you doing with your time? I’ve been given another chance that most people don’t get & I don’t plan on wasting it.
As I’m blessed to see another year I’m gonna keep caring for people & loving people over the top, continue being a goofy person, & God willing get to carry that into not only other birthdays but my own family hopefully as a husband & dad.