When talking about value like any other subject it has much nuisance and vary from person to person in what they think about it, value is something that everyone has a different interpretation and experience with & value is always gonna be a thing that differs from a person, to era, to even a moment in time, however, we are gonna focus on four main things when talking about the value the intrinsic, the physical, interactions with others, & adversity. Overall value is a broad topic that can be argued and viewed differently by others & like I said in the previous articles my view is not the end-all by no stretch & with this series of “Just A Thought” is about talking about a subject and leaving room for others views as well. Value is something that needs to be talked about because it’s not a regular thing for everyone.
Intrinsic & The Inside
With a house, they start with the foundation and they build up from there & it’s the structure of the entire house is built on, if it is terrible then the whole house is in jeopardy whereas if it is great then the house comes out pristine as a result it’s also the same as the interior on that front as well. It’s the same as the intrinsic things that we go through and have going on inside all of us. When talking about intrinsic attributes they are things we can’t see often unless we are actually around people or get a glimpse at something that is tangible & is a build-up of the things to moment in time & is built on all the good breaks a person has. Because these attributes are rarely seen people try to compensate in other areas to make up for their lack in other departments but if someone is a terrible person that only lasts for so long. Even though we don’t see these intrinsic things often they still play a role in how we interact with others in how we operate in the now & the long run, when I say this it with the knowledge that everyone is on a spectrum of good vs bad and everything we’ve done to a certain point in our life’s plays a role in how we are seen and people handle us and it can always change it in through our actions whether they are good or bad & hopefully people get a fair shake from others because they changed & adapted to what they are now instead of people living off their perception that is outdated or lacking or worse people “cancel” someone metaphorically because they made a mistake and people who are not perfect as well do so leaving no room for someone to grow or change after. When talking about the intrinsic so many factors play a role in these things from a person’s values to their morals and even how they deal with the adversity in their lives because at the end of the day adversity builds a character because of our journeys & paths are differing. Prime examples of this are two things that happened on my journey, anxiety & sepsis (which I talked about in-depth just click one of the two). The first was anxiety, several years ago while in college at Prairie View A & M University I started dealing with it so much that it wasn’t avoidable & had to deal with things like anxiety attacks & with anxiety that had me feeling like everything was going wrong when in actuality looking at the bigger picture I was not doing great but not worse than a lot of others and because of it I became way more dependent on others after building up to being self-reliant over that time (I’m still thankful for others that helped in a time I was vulnerable and was weaker because of it), it threw things into rock bottom for me for a while during the experience & lastly I had to learn what triggers it because that is half the battle & a never-ending process for most. The second thing that was intrinsic was sepsis, when I was laying in a hospital bed for those 70 days from ICU (intensive care unit) to telemetry to rehab hospital I had all this time to think about my own mortality a lot once I wasn’t sedated and in summary or the short because of everything that happened I had to have courage & discipline when it was time to fight metaphorically in my head and physically when it was time for things like rehab. When speaking on the intrinsic at the end of the day it comes down to the our own minds &
the value we put in our own selves, & at the end of the day whether we defeat our own selves, or have confidence at some point we are right about our selves and we can either roadblock or motivate ourselves. When talking intrinsic value people may not be able to see it or assess it for a while (it comes out eventually) but it is chess even though people treat it like checkers. Value starts from within & is the jumping-off point.
The physical and The Outside
When talking about the value the other part is the physical or the outside. If the intrinsic value we have in ourselves is the foundation & interior of this metaphorical house, the aesthetics (big words out here) & the looks on the outside of the house is the biggest factor of the physical. When thinking about the physical value, it mostly comes down to the judgment of others, our own mindset of them, and things that are not really controllable or can be changed that much & is subjective from person to person. When talking about the outside it is the first thing that people see of certain things & people and it’s the first impression, some people will say that it is unfair because people and things are way more than their looks & that sounds fine & dandy but people start making assessments based on looks & putting a value on that & hopefully people adjust once they know someone or somebody. Physical value changes with different situations that we are in and also vary with us. When we are younger our value is based on our peers & carries on through college then tapers off after a while depending on what groups we run with and the things we do, for example, if we are worried about being popular or fashionable it takes a certain level of value in the visual and looking good to sustain it and can change quickly, it’s the same as photography or film & social media now even though my value lays in multiple things and not just in physical value (the same with others), that is the foundation of most media nowadays & people that model regularly (possibly for a profession) even though they have other things going for them, they are dealing with the subjective nature of beauty & what comes with it & photographers, filmmakers, & other creatives are not excluded from it, physical values take lots of forms from physical attributes to things we are born with. For example with people that have a greater physical stature that allows them to more be athletic or beautiful, pretty, handsome, basically having the juice way more than the norm basically above average for the moment in the time people will seek out individuals for theirs athletic prowess or their looks which is understandable because it is the first thing you see as I said before, the problem comes in when people lean on that entirely and try moving forward resting on that because some people know this only & it’s not that efficient in the long run no matter how much juice or value a person puts in the physical because it has an end to it which makes it more important to be well rounded in the value department. Another thing that can effect physical value in ourselves is certain situations happening to us for me the first was going through anxiety, because you tend to have an unfavorable outlook on yourself that is based in our intrinsic attributes and our mindset but can overlap into the physical leaving people to stop taking care of themselves like exercising, not sleeping, or doing things that allowed them to be effective in taking care of themselves because of it, the second for me was sepsis even though I had a mindset of discipline and mental strength to handle what was coming my way, with it happening physically I had to rebuild and have faith that what I was doing would pay off over time like as a result of sepsis and shortness of breath I was given a tracheotomy to combat that & because of it being removed unexpectedly I was left mute for several weeks having to relearn to speak while my vocal chords recovered and healed, because I had a thing called an NG tube and could not eat normally I had a feeding tube for a minute and once I passed a swallow study it wasn’t just back to solid and liquids it was purée foods & honey liquids (a mix they put in liquids because they don’t want people to aspire from it) because of medicine that helped sepsis & the effect it had on my kidneys I was on dialysis (which is a procedure to clean the blood like kidneys with a machine) a 24 hour session at first then way shorter sessions following, & finally because of drop foot and muscle atrophy I was confined to a wheelchair & once I was sent home it was a struggle using muscles again regularly. On top of everything mentioned previously the outside was judged a lot because I don’t just fly under the radar being a 6’2” black male, now add a walker that was aiding me 5+ months (I was looking like an elderly man lol) a drop foot brace from November 2018 to now, keloids from an NG tube & tracheotomy, a pressure sore on the back my head from hospitalization, & if you spoke to me, because of my vocal cords recovering I sounded like Boonhauer from “King of the Hill” or a black “Pee-Wee Herman” who knew the secret word (take your pick lol) outside of familiar listeners I had to make sure to enunciate & repeat myself constantly. Because of factors like this people approached me with a wide variety of ways from ignorance and stupidity & others with understanding & decency and it was the same before sepsis just not as major but people still do it regardless. Physical things include everything from smarts and someone’s GPA (grade point average) to even looks & thing like genetic attributes come down to what can be seen and evaluated.
Interactions With Others & Things
Now that our metaphorical house is built with the foundation, interior, & the aesthetics of the outside, even though we have a certain view and value of our place (this is the equivalent of our bubble & stoop) we are still open to the assessment of value from others always. Like in a previous article I mentioned songs like “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac (because people build their lives up & their foundation with the journey of others not leaving room for people to grow and it becomes an unstable prime example of this is a family member doing this but not adapting their perception over time) or
“After The Storm” by Kali Uchis (because even if everything looks like it’s going sideways it’s not impossible)
or “What Am I To You” by Norah Jones (which is a question we ask about certain interactions with others) they all play some role in other topics too.
When dealing with value as a whole when it comes down to the resources that we have as individuals and the fine line we ride interacting with others basically giving everything up in order for others to succeed basically disregarding our own journey as a result or on the flip side pretend we are doing talking a good game having bravado but no action backing it up whatsoever, this applies to everything from people using their time which is the really the basic thing we have, our energy, & the physical and intrinsic attributes we have as a person. When it comes down to value a factor this is our willingness & effort we put into reaching out, at the end of the day I know I’m very confident in my own skills and value as a person but I know i’m still at the whim of others in that department & if I never would have reached out in my journey with some form of effort and conviction outside of close family I would not know people I collaborate with, consider family, friends, & people I hold at high regard over time and it was the same after sepsis I had to a still have to put effort into doing things like pursuing photography or film and even relationships now regardless of my value to others.
Like I said before when dealing with the metaphorical house that holds our value it takes proof over time the song that comes to mind is “Prove It” by Big K.R.I.T. featuring J. Cole no matter the situation or adversity actions taken in that moment not only build character but like a scientific hypothesis requires trial and error on our part & proof to back up that value
Apologies for the language.
This way can be eye-opening and revealing about others and either solidify what we already know and value in others or show people as a flake or like the song by the Foo Fighters “Pretender” overtime of knowing them, this applies to family, friends, & any other relationships forged over time.
Apologies for the language.
Also people will chase an idea of what they want in a relationship whether it be for friendship, a collaboration, & being closer to someone or something they let in let their bubble on their own merit and choices and will go off of the strength of potential which’s only face value of any interaction & rather not take time and invest in what can be learned & may not be that that glamorous up front but successful in value none the less over time.
The cherry to all this is the era we live in especially with social media, because of
the business I do as a creative and as a small business owner I have to be on social media to let people see what I’m doing it’s the same for others in the same area no matter how big or small but the kicker to all this is how intertwined it has become in daily life and how saturated certain things have come because of it, when looking at the big picture people put value in a tweet, a status, a picture, or even a video, that is a millisecond compared to our journeys and people will trade aesthetic for reality to fulfill it constantly taking selfies, “off guards” which are counter intuitive to the idea, & constantly documenting everything because we have the option compared to earlier eras and years, this is not to complain or whine because of it everything has its pros and cons in hindsight & something’s wouldn’t exist without connection like the job I currently do with Lyft or other platforms but the downside to this is not everyone looks the same over time just like that picture or video (I’ve seen it in action everyone isn’t on constantly & it takes work and effort for that moment which is rare) people don’t feel the same way all day but people will put value in a moment that is temporary, only chase an experience, or a vibe, we’re more connected & even more lonely at times as a result. At the end of the day the interactions we have with others whether family, friends, or others is like an IPO (initial public offering) on stock exchanges that have investors it is the same with people around us whether we believe it or not, we have shareholders in our lives that invest in us & our value over time depending on certain factors whether they are selective about it, all in, in a positive manner or do so negatively, also dealing with value & what people put into us and we do vice versa because it’s a two-way street, there aren’t refunds for the care, love, and time we put in no matter how long it has been or how far we are from others.
Adversity
When it comes to value the final part in this subject is adversity when talking about it what comes to mind is the comedian and host of the daily show Trevor Noah the reason I mention him is because of where he grew up in South Africa especially dealing with Apartheid he’s no stranger to adversity one thing stuck with me is something he said, which was he doesn’t mind taking it on & facing it wherever it comes from because it keeps him sharp hearing someone with opposing views within reason. I like this mindset because people aren’t really civil when arguing they are chasing a win instead of logical thinking or facts or views on the subject but something that is temporary or trying to shut it down before understanding is reached leaving people ignorant. When talking adversity there should be an understanding there’s a build-up regardless of how big or small it is, an example of this was whippings for anyone who got them at some point in life, it just didn’t come out of anywhere their were a series of events that happened and the same with adversity wherever it comes from. What this reminds of was talking with a passenger about trust fund kids while driving for Lyft, & we came to the realization that we don’t want to be any of them, for the reason of even though life is tough and filled with tough times constantly like money we would not have it any other way because those times in our journeys help mold us. Finally when talking about adversity the last thing that comes to mind is close people, often times when dealing with people & things their is a hierarchy to issues with people who are no so close & don’t know much about is minimal but people that are close to us or let in our bubble or space effect us way more, when looking at adversity close family we live with like parents, siblings, or guardians it make sense because they have your number and can press your buttons so it’s a practice in patience hopefully your people show discretion in the situation, on the other hand people we decide to let in our metaphorical house whether it be family, friends we put effort into having around & over time we grow closer to and can call family or friends that we have deep connections with or people we have a higher regard for it carries a lot of significance because it takes vulnerability to do so, it’s the equivalent to letting someone in our metaphorical place and actually opening the door, in a perfect world we would let people in that have the same value in us reciprocally, are unconditional in the things they give whether care or love, are open to critique, & unconditional with it, but that isn’t the case, there are various ways people can act some people can be flakes because they are afraid to miss something’s, some can be scary because they don’t want things to change because they are autopilot, they had past experiences that dictate others even everyone is different, they fulfilled something because someone or something that filled a void for something temporary like a
BAE sometimes as an example (which means Before Almost Everything ) & they are doing it because of status, have an idea how things should go, want to leave people around them ignorant, or worse a person acts differently because of the adversity happening and disregard everything or just avoid which is the equivalent of setting the couch of fire and just walking out like it didn’t happen. What this reminds me of is the song “Heartburn” by Wafia & Jarami because all this involves some level of hurt & it can be minor or major because everyone has different views & ways of doing things an example of this is people’s views of the friend zone because my take is probably different than the next but that is normal from others on lots of subjects, however even after the adversity comes it takes not pandering where people feel all warm inside and riding the line of being blunt with tact & having finesse in facing it also takes house rules & expectations on a reasonable level on how others should treat our value & communication should complement it where there is no uncertainty & actual understanding, because adversity changes dynamic.
Conclusion
At the end of the day when talking value somethings are certain everyone comes with pros and cons & it starts within then goes outward & value changes from individual to individual & transcends throughout our journeys whether it’s people that we’ve known for a while, people we’ve reconnected with, or people we’ve just let in no matter what level they are on. Also like a spades game value takes not sandbagging (underplay the hand we’re dealt) or renege (overselling our values) because of others around us or our own mindset & like the song by Anita Baker “Best That I Got” being behind our own value with action not just talk.