This “Just A Thought” is about mindset, we have so many factors that make us who we are from our physical attributes and who we came into this world with far as family when we are born, but our mindsets are something we can control & nobody can really tell you how you think & hopefully you’re thinking isn’t affected by the people in your vicinity & people on your journey whether it be friends, family, etc. Our mindsets dictates a lot & you can have this phenomenal skill set but a terrible mind and just be jacked up so much even though you’re very capable, creating this mental hurdle for yourself when the path is clear already, & people that belief in you having this form of value in you can’t always validate you, it’s that powerful. Mindset is an important thing no matter what condition it is in for us
Mental File
Looking at mindset & what it is in the broader sense of the factors in our life it is something that people can’t see because it is an intrinsic thing that nobody is able to see, however, what people can see is the way you operate and what you do when faced with things in life whether it’s just things in general or adversity that comes up this is what the mental file is in concept. Let me break down what the mental file is like I said before nobody can read minds or is Zoltar reading the future so people have to go off what people do, say, & the way they act in certain situations, not just assuming or going off of perception which can be wrong in most cases. What a mental file does is take everything into account about a person from their hopes to their dreams to their aspirations and fears to even what are their morals & how do they handle things in their own life (this only works with people that let us in their bubble, this is the metaphorical area around us some people are welcoming others build a brick wall or have a facade because of past experiences). I talked about it in the article Love & Relationships but I’m going more in-depth this time around. So like I said before there are so many factors we can learn about someone from things like is someone vulgar, does someone party a lot, are they extroverted or introverted, do they take being healthy serious (not just being pretty or handsome), how is their mental health, do they smoke or drink, how do they handle adversity or uncharted territory, etc. It works efficiently when people allow themselves to be vulnerable and let people in their bubble not just defaulting to past experiences in their life basically leaving people to lean on perception rather than letting people know them. This works efficiently if people open their bubble & by that happening the result is you get to know people for way more & if done correctly and with it being the right hands of someone who is very capable of listening & being a sponge, not just being selective in doing so it can work wonders. A mental file can happen two ways one by being around people like close family or whoever raises you when we are younger or the other way is from people that come in our lives, and if they are cognizant & if we are mindful of the people around us then it goes smoothly whether everything is going great or sideways with adversity constantly. Having a mental file of people around us helps us because if we treat it right & are proactive in nature we’re not having to lean on the default thinking of a person we have in our air space. I can hear someone say isn’t it judgmental in concept & I say if you’re doing it to dig up dirt on someone, make a snap judgment, or put someone on a guilt trip it’s being done wrong, the whole point of the mental file is having an understanding of others around us that we care about & vice versa so we’re able to adapt accordingly to what works & doesn’t because life is trial & error and if we decided to assess friendship, relationships, collaborations, or family, we have the necessary knowledge to make a constructive decision on if we should keep people in our lives, limit our experiences with certain people, or go separate ways because they bring negativity as a placeholder in our lives really just there to prove why you need them or they are busy chasing mental postcards basically hunting down experiences but not really contributing to someone’s journey which is ups & downs naturally. A mental file may vary from person to person & is there to help deal with our mindset & goes hand in hand with the next part, our time & energy.
Time & Energy
No matter how much money, education, or success you have or think you have the fact of the matter is you only have 24 hours & lord willing you get another 24 to make something happen because life is a fragile random thing. Looking at last year for myself, I was busy almost all the time from February to October because I if ran through a 24 hour period I would sleep until I was needed as a caretaker for my grandma when she was alive (RIP) usually up around 9 am unless I had a scheduled photography shoot or she had a doctors appointment, then at noon I would be at full alert as a caretaker because the person that would come in the morning would leave for the day, then during that time I would do things like start or finish writing articles like “Just A Thought” or “The Goldbox Spotlight” since I couldn’t just leave the house unless I got someone to cover me or I had rehab myself (occupational Therapy, physical therapy, & or speech therapy) then at 7 pm I would head to work doing Lyft until 12 or 1 am, get cleaned up, go to sleep and do it all again Monday thru Friday most weeks. The reason I bring it up is because time is precious to me & knowing that I try to be efficient with my time whatever I’m doing whether it’s was after sepsis or before when I was being an instructional aide in La Marque I.S.D. & working at Popeyes in Baytown constantly 7 days a week, also on top of that everyone comes with a set amount of energy that depends on different variables like if someone is is introverted or extroverted, how much patience a person has to begin with, what things do they deal with daily, &, etc. Knowing these things & being mindful towards both ideals in my own mindset, I refuse to waste other people’s time and energy whether in doing photography or something else in my life that requires other people to do so or vice versa that’s the reasoning I thank people for their time because that’s a factor in a lot & if we are assessing our relationships we can make effective decisions in that department without just assuming.
Fear & Courage
When I was younger I went to Waterworld at Astroworld with family friends I couldn’t really swim only fight water, so I had that life jacket on they provide at water parks then after which I entered the wave pool where I was faced with my biggest fear for a long time water because at that time the water went over my head causing me to panic being such a little person & just be fearful for a long time & the result of that experience our trip was cut short forcing us to go home (which I’m still sorry about) and leaving me to have fears because of it for years, I was fearful of water because of that one time until I faced it head on because of one of my teachers & mentors Mrs. B who was a Home school educator my mom knew & she was my teacher one summer & her family did swimming as PE, because of her taking us to the elk lodge in the area I learned to swim effectively & had courage in dealing the adversity in my life rather than having a fearful mindset and because of that I was able to do things like get my swimming merit badge, did a mile swim, became a small boat handler of sailboats through sea base in Galveston with Boy Scouts of America, joined & thrived on swim team my senior year at La Marque High School, & even tryed out to be a life guard at PVAMU one semester, I say all this to say if I were to live in constant fear and have no courage at all I would have missed a lot in my life because of it. Nowadays people just try avoiding adversity and challenges if they can or try to avoid it completely but the question is if we had that mindset how in the world would we become the people we are supposed to without the adversity that comes our way in life. We face things that are unexpected like as an example 2012 I was hit by truck with a cattle guard making the airbags go off totaling my red 2006 Dodge Charger & leaving me with scars as a result & shaken up so much I didn’t want to drive for a while or 2015 where I was going through anxiety and the fun of panic attacks or recently having to rebuild my life after sepsis which is still tough, other things you know they are coming but you have to make a decision and have a mindset to either be scary or have courage and conviction to face it, somethings are intrinsic while others are on display. For me it was being active again & having the courage to trust the work I put in through OT & PT at the time to do things again like Lyft jogging again or even playing indoor soccer after 18 months, even roller skating after 2 years, I’m not gonna lie I struggled, busted my bum several times, and had to adapt, but I had to start somewhere & I refused to not try because of fear. It reminds me of the song by Kalis Uchis “After The Storm” you never know what someone is going through & sometimes you have to be the protagonist.
Selfish & Self Care & Value
When we talk about mindset the next thing that comes up is the value, so we put it in the physical attributes, others in their morals & intrinsic qualities & some people balance their life in both, also when talking about value it is a fine line between putting in the hands of others that hold us in high regard for different reasons and being able to be resilient independently & the reverse. It reminds me of the song by Fleetwood Mac “Landslide” & is a reminder that life is gonna change whether we like it or not in some facet and we shouldn’t just put our value in others or build around others because no one is perfect & we have to be able to do on our own sometimes. Also when talking about independence & mindset the other thing that comes up is being selfish and self-care, being selfish is something that a lot of people talk about should happen in the ’20s of someone life where it is the time to do things “selfishly” in the name of protecting their sanity and growing within themselves, but it can come off as messed up & not really thought out that well but I make sense somewhat & often gets misconstrued with Self-care or self-love (side note Keionna Turner did an article here on the topic that’s introspective & explains it very well. ) Overall when talking about self-care, value, & selfishness they are things that take conversation just like any other topics & there is no age limit on them either but they still come down to people’s mindsets.
Conclusion
Overall mindset is a powerful thing and whether dealing with anything mentioned prior life is trial and error & we make decisions based on the factors beforehand & no matter what highs or lows we have the common denominator is our mindsets because somethings take patience and determination like the marshmallow test in large scale. There is a bigger picture.